Well hello 2025 - time for fresh starts, clean slates, and endless possibilities… or so they say. But by the time you hit your mid-40s, I find that the enthusiasm for New Year’s resolutions tends to have waned.
I’m not alone. According to studies, about 80% of New Year’s resolutions fail by February, with ‘Quitters Day’ usually around 14th January.
Many personal development writers highlight how resolutions can create an unrealistic expectation of an idealised version of yourself, which can leave you feeling disappointed when you inevitably fall short.
Experts like Dr Rangan Chatterjee, author of The 4 Pillars of Health, suggest that instead of setting dramatic resolutions for weight loss or fitness, a better approach is to focus on small, sustainable lifestyle changes that improve overall well-being without causing unnecessary stress or disappointment.
Let’s talk about some of the most common midlife women’s resolutions—and why they’re probably best left for the younger, more naïve versions of ourselves.
1. Get Fit (Again)
Every year, it’s the same: "This is the year I’ll finally get into shape!" But by midlife, "getting into shape" has morphed into a vague and overly optimistic idea that involves yoga pants, maybe some walking and a very comfortable couch. It’s not that you don’t want to be fit—it’s just that you’ve come to terms with the fact that your body has developed character over the years. It’s like trying to convince your teenager to clean their room: You’ve given up on the dream, and now you’re just surviving.
2. Learn a New Skill (Like Coding or a New Language)
The idea of picking up a completely new skill as an adult seems charming—until you try it. Sure, you could learn Mandarin or take up coding, but let’s be honest: your brain has already reached its capacity for new information. These days, you’re barely remembering where you put your glasses, let alone the intricacies of HTML. Plus, every time you sit down to "learn something new," you find yourself scrolling through cat memes. The cat memes will win every time.
3. Declutter the Entire House
Ah, the "Marie Kondo Moment." You’ve read the books, watched the shows and maybe even listened to my podcast with Dilly Carter. But here’s the reality: The stuff has been accumulating for decades, and it’s not just "stuff." It’s a history of your life—your kids’ macaroni art, those shoes you bought for one wedding that you swore you’d wear again, and that blender you forgot you owned. It’s less about decluttering and more about strategically avoiding the mess until it gets too overwhelming to deal with. Give yourself until Spring when you get the urge to have a big clear out. Keep January for hot chocolate and movies.
4. Have More "Me Time"
Ah yes, self-care. Everyone talks about it - I do it all the time. But let’s be real: How do you carve out "me time" when you’re already juggling kids, work, your partner, ageing parents and the upcoming tax season? Don’t beat yourself up - but do grab a sneaky nap or bubble bath when you get the chance. Of course you can always multi task listening to a Two Women Chatting podcast, whilst walking the dog, planning dinner and mentally ticking off your to-do list.
But seriously, mental health professionals often point out that the intense pressure to make drastic changes can be harmful, especially for people already struggling with anxiety, depression, or self-esteem issues. For example, New Year’s resolutions that focus on weight loss or productivity can exacerbate feelings of inadequacy. Instead of feeling empowered by goals, people may feel defeated or trapped by them.
Instead of obsessing over drastic transformations or external goals, it might be worth focusing on self-acceptance, compassion, and realistic, incremental progress. And if all else fails? At least there’s always next year.
In the end, maybe the best resolution is to not make any resolutions at all. Why set yourself up for failure when you can just coast into the new year with the knowledge that you're doing your best, and that's good enough? The real resolution? To keep living life on your own terms and make realistic, incremental progress to what you want to do and where you want to be. Just remember it doesn’t all have to start in January!
Comments