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Back in October 2022 we spotted an article in The Sunday Times written by Marianne Jones all about midlife burnout, and it really piqued our interest. In 2019 'Burnout' was actually recognised by the World Health Organisation (WHO) as an 'occupational phenomenon with feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion, feelings of negativity towards one’s job and a reduced ability to cope'. The term was initially believed to be a syndrome resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed, however four years on and it has become widely acknowledged to cover all areas of life, not just the workplace. We just had to invite her on the podcast to talk about midlife burnout. She explained how her commitment to her long career as a multi award-winning editor, writer, podcast host and brand consultant, with 30-plus years' experience in women's lifestyle media led to her being on the brink of chronic illness. For decades she’d worked hard, striving for the respect of publishers and bosses, beating her rivals to cover stars and exclusives, constantly proving she was as good or better than her male counterparts and then, during covid, when the lines blurred between the working day and home life, her body rebelled at the stress. Marianne described how the doctor delivered the bad news, that “at the age of 55, my body was screaming at me to slow down or pay for it. I was stressed and burnt out". He told me I needed to take significant time off work. What is burnout? Burnout is often described as the “silent killer” as it can quietly damage the body for years before symptoms such as chronic fatigue, headaches, aches and pains, digestive problems, sleep issues, anxiety and depression can develop - along with scarily high blood pressure. What Does Burnout Feel Like? The first symptoms are usually extreme tiredness or chronic fatigue, irritability and cynicism. Increasing tiredness often means you are unable to cope with the demands put on you and relationships become strained and this is equally true of cynicism. Social isolation is very common among people experiencing burnout. Recognising symptoms early can make a huge difference. According to burnout researcher Diane Bernier, the journey to recovery consists of six stages you’ll have to walk through one stage at a time: Stage 1: Admit to yourself that you’re burned out. The first step in every recovery is realizing that something isn’t right and that you need to make a change. Stage 2: Distance yourself from the stress triggers. You can’t just keep going and expect things to change. Identify what’s stressing you out and take a break. Stage 3: Restore your health. Catch up on sleep, exercise, eat healthy foods, and socialize with the people you love Stage 4: Reevaluate your values. Once you feel like your brain and body are resetting a bit, take a real step back and think about what’s missing in your life. Do you have enough time with your family? Is your job too much? Are you bored at work? Do you make time for yourself? Stage 5: Explore other options and possibilities. Once you know what you’re missing and identified what you need, explore alternatives. Should you look for a new job? Take up a sport or hobby? Stage 6: Take a break and make a change. Hopefully, you can return to your old job with a new mindset and things work out. Maybe there are some changes that you make or ask for that will help you feel better about your work-life balance? So how can you recover if you think you have burnout? Self-help methods such as exercise, meditation, healthy eating and other lifestyle changes may work however once you are experiencing severe burnout these may well not make much difference alone and you may need to seek the help of a doctor or specialist. How Long Does It Take To Recover From Burnout? Just like symptoms will be different for each person the recovery length won’t be the same either. It may take a few weeks or months but for others, it may take a few years. Most importantly be kind to yourself and always seek the guidance of your doctor or other qualified health professional with any questions you may have regarding your health or a medical condition. Visit our resources page which has a collection of useful links from 3rd party websites and content. Listen to our podcast where we chat with Marianne Jones. Did you enjoy this article? Why not join the Two Women Chatting mailing list for regular updates.

Tips when moving elderly parents and relatives from their home environment As Richard Gere said ‘Growing old is a privilege’ and of course, he is absolutely right - but unfortunately, it does come with some downsides. That once super active confident independent person now has to ask for help whether it’s opening a jar of honey, clipping their toenails, or tending the garden, which they once found so easy to manage. In the first of two podcast episodes on Carenting, we discuss the topic of moving elderly parents from their homes to a safer home environment. Joined by Anne Bangs and Doreen Hall from TLC Senior Relocation we gleaned some useful tips and advice. The most pertinent piece of advice that hit home is to plan ahead. Take your time researching and do not leave it until there was no other solution because unfortunately, that is when often the wrong choice is made. The internet is awash with websites offering up advice and communities with images of beautiful grounds and smiling faces! But in reality, what is it they offer, and will it be suitable for your loved ones? Firstly, it is imperative to understand the level of care each option provides and the terminology can often be very confusing. In a nutshell, independent living communities focus mainly on serving the social needs of residents, as most are able to live independently without much support whilst assisted living communities support those who need assistance with activities of daily living but still allow residents to live as independently as possible. Useful websites for research and advice: Healthline AgeUK Aging Care National Association of Senior Move Managers TOP TIPS AND ISSUES TO CONSIDER: Talk about the move with family members. It may seem obvious but include your parent in the discussion and do not treat them like a child. Family members often get together and decide what they think is best but in fact, it’s best for them, not the parent. In many cases an elderly parent, not surprisingly, is adamant they will not move out of their home. This is when it can be better for an outsider to be involved as they can test the water and assess the situation. Even better get them to plant the seed of an idea of moving to assisted living. Include professionals including doctors in the discussions Sit down with family and list the pros and cons. Care homes are expensive, there’s no getting around this but that’s because they are ‘care’ homes and have the staff and facilities to do so. However, not all care homes are equal! Be realistic. Sometimes one sibling believes the parent can manage, this is often the case if they don’t see them on a regular basis. You must all communicate and be on the same page. Do your research. It’s all very well that the home is set in acres of beautiful grounds but where are the local shops to walk to? Is it near a train or bus station? If the home is in a remote location they may have issues finding staff. How long is the journey for family members and friends to visit? Try not to choose one in a different area away from where your parent’s lived. Friends will find it extremely hard to visit. What are the other residents like? Will your parent fit in and make friends? Visit the home more than once- this is why it is crucial to plan ahead. On the initial visit, the staff can be wonderful but then sadly on an unannounced visit you see the true colours of the staff and venue. How will the care home be financed? This can often cause rifts in families, so be considerate of your parent’s needs and thoughts. Don't argue in front of them – imagine how they will feel. Carenting Part 2 podcast will look at moving an elderly parent into your home and the gadgets, AI, care and infrastructure available out there to help them stay in their own as long as they hope to. Did you enjoy this article? Why not join the Two Women Chatting mailing list for regular updates.

With so much coverage on social media on menopause it is easy to get overwhelmed and a little confused -it’s fantastic that menopause is, at last, being discussed and is now high on the agenda in the UK. But menopause is a very personal issue and affects women in so many different ways. It is a natural stage in a woman’s life and sadly some struggle a lot more than others. The two of us have had totally different menopause journeys and cannot stress enough that you must talk to a doctor or health expert about your symptoms. The Menopause Mandate In our recent podcast, we interviewed some of the amazing women behind The Menopause Mandate including Carolyn Harris MP, Lavina Mehta MBE, Alice Smellie and Laura Biggs. who are a group of motivated women from all walks of life who share a common interest in perimenopause and menopause. As they say: 'This isn't a feminist issue or a niche topic. This affects our whole society as women make up over half the population’. These incredible women are devoted to creating a coalition of campaigners to achieve everyone's ultimate goal of revolutionising the support and advice women receive from both our health service and wider society’. There are thought to be an estimated 18 million peri and post-menopausal women in the UK, and for millennia menopause has been off the map. Now, thanks to this tireless campaigning, it's the biggest women's issue of the moment. Yet menopause provision in the UK remains shockingly poor. Healthcare professionals aren't routinely educated about the subject, and health advice is often out of date. Women are regularly refused Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) and other treatments despite the NICE Guidelines. Even if they obtain a prescription, the medication is frequently unavailable - with ongoing shortages. There could be more than 50 symptoms of menopause, and the majority of women will experience at least one. Plummeting hormones, particularly oestrogen, can lead to symptoms lasting years and long term health problems Ensuring that women, are seen by trained doctors and nurses and given the latest and best advice isn't a luxury, it's a human right. Millions in the UK are struggling mentally and physically because of this catastrophic failure in women's health, leaving jobs, relationships are suffering, and there are even suicides. Source: The Menopause Mandate Did you enjoy this article? Why not join the Two Women Chatting mailing list for regular updates. Visit our resources page which has a collection of useful links from 3rd party websites and content.

Lifestyle Journalist Suzanne Baum reflects on the pain of losing a best friend in tragic and shocking circumstances. As the daughter in law of a United Synagogue rabbi, I have had some insight into grieving. Fortunately not my own, but for the 25 years in which I have been married, I am only too aware of the rabbi’s role in burying the dead, helping the mourners with their pain and going through the process of a funeral, shiva and life after death. And it is the latter part where his words of wisdom have really stuck with me. Once the Jewish week of mourning is over and the visitors stop coming as much, when the warmth of the initial bubble of comfort subsides, the pain goes on. Life after death. Always try to be present, look out for the person who is suffering the loss of a loved one and check in with them regularly. Life goes on yes but – for anyone who has suffered from a loved one dying – it goes without saying this is not life or even reality, but, for many, a nightmare I have followed his advice. And it is the ‘life after’ right now that I am entering; a period where I – and so many of us – have given our word to our beautiful, strong, loving best friend Judianne that we will be by her side forever more. A week on from our friend Dean Jayson’s death, the reality of never seeing him again has not sunk in. As a tight friendship group we are holding on to him via a WhatsApp group where we continue to share photos, memories, videos of Dean and even an emoji he set up with a party balloon coming out his head. For that was Dean – the life and soul of the party. He was so very loud, we would often tell him to shut up. What we wouldn’t give to hear his strong Essex voice again – for the silence is deafening. The silence is so deafening that the time we have all spent sitting in the family house, has been to fill the silence. 'The prevalence of suicide in our society has been gradually rising and the devastation, which I have seen first-hand, leaves behind a tornado of despair' As a woman of words, this should be easy but my voice seems to have become disconnected from my brain. Perhaps the shock of Dean’s sudden and totally unexpected death – that came like a sledgehammer to my head – has put me into a state of muteness. But silence gives my friend Judianne time to get lost in her thoughts, so I use all my strength – as do our friends – to fill the gaps with tales of Dean, stories of our friendship group, days at university and his ability to fall asleep anywhere – in the back of a cab, on our sofa, standing up or horizontal somewhere. In the last moments we saw Dean someone reached out and shut his eyes and told us he looked peaceful, just like he does when he was sleeping. Could we take comfort in that? Not really, because we want him, we need him, to wake up. Facing the loss of a loved one is always difficult, but losing someone to suicide can add another level of pain to your grief. The shock and anguish following a suicide can seem overwhelming and I know now I don’t talk for myself when I posted my initial thoughts on my Instagram post hours before his funeral on Sunday. As someone who can’t cook I watched the crowd of amazing friends continually delivering meals to our friend and her kids and thought I can’t help on this front. Yet, I can write. Writing is my creative and emotional outlet and I felt the need – for the first time in a week – to post how I was feeling. The response to my words was overwhelming. I touched upon my grief, shock, despair. I spoke of my 48-year-old lawyer husband and his friends – the most beautiful group of men reduced to tears. I wanted people to know it is okay not to be okay. I am not okay – my friends are not okay. The Samaritans – from whom I have been seeking support via their website – encouraged me to share my words in a bid to let others know that when you lose a loved one to suicide, it can be all-consuming. And it is. For Dean was the ultimate mensch. A best friend, father, husband and son. Loyal, fair, intelligent, loud, kind, hospitable, outspoken, funny and passionate. On a personal note, he was a mentor to my eldest son, who is joining Dean’s place of work Accenture, where he rose through the ranks to get to the top. 'On Sunday, at exactly the time Dean was lowered into the ground at 3.48pm, the rain came down so strongly, the thunder roared. The heavens really did open for our friend'. On LinkedIn, pages and pages of messages from former colleagues reiterate the same thing. He was an outstanding boss, a hard worker, a man of his word, a kind soul who only wanted the best out of everyone. He also had a brilliant sense of humour. We would laugh until we cried. And now, we are just crying. I didn’t even know there was such a thing as waking up crying, yet my husband and I have both experienced it this week. Crying in the very little sleep we have had. I have married into a rabbinical family, but I am not religious. Yet – the sense of community, the love of our rabbi, the endless chicken soup and the prayers have been comforting. I’ve read so much about Jewish funerals – I have watched my husband teach our friends’ three kids how to say kaddish for their father – and I felt my body shiver to the core bearing witness to them shovelling soil onto their fathers casket. So, why I am writing this? Yes, I was asked to, yes it is an outlet for me to express my emotions but most importantly it is to highlight the importance of the fragility of our mental health. The prevalence of suicide in our society has been gradually rising and the devastation – which I have seen first-hand – leaves behind a tornado of despair. The ripple effect I call it. Family and friends of loved ones, work colleagues, a community and even people who didn’t know Dean have been left in shock. As someone who writes on mental health all the time, I would often say look out for the symptoms and the signs but – with Dean – there were none. Nothing. And this was a man who never, ever stopped talking, until now. Dean was loved beyond words. Our hearts are broken. Not only for Judianne, but for the hundreds of us who loved him. Dean was THE BEST. And in his memory, Judianne wants to make something positive come from this most harrowing of experiences. To raise money for a charity very close to their hearts. A charity where every year his best friends would join together in a poker tournament in the house that was everyone’s home – to raise money for myisrael. I know I speak on behalf of all the friends when I say our world has been shattered. We will rebuild, yet with a huge hole in our circle. Heaven has certainly gained a diamond. Suzanne Baum is a lifestyle editor & celebrity interviewer. This article first appeared in The Jewish Chronicle

What is meningitis? Meningitis is the inflammation of the membranes that surround and protect the brain and spinal cord. These layers are called the meninges. Some bacteria that cause meningitis can also cause septicaemia (blood poisoning). There are many different causes of meningitis, but the two most common organisms are viruses and bacteria. Meningitis can affect anyone of any age Meningitis can kill Meningitis can cause long-term after-effects Viral and bacterial are the most common causes of meningitis No vaccine provides 100% protection against meningitis Early signs and symptoms can appear similar to 'flu' or a stomach bug Viral meningitis is more common than bacterial meningitis but rarely fatal Bacterial types are comparatively rare, but extremely dangerous and can be fatal The most common bacterial cause in the UK is the meningococcus. This can cause both meningitis and septicaemia (meningococcal disease) Other types of bacterial meningitis include pneumococcal, Hib, neonatal (usually caused by group B streptococcus and E. coli) and TB UK charity Meningitis Now estimates that there are currently around 2,000 cases of bacterial meningitis in the UK and 6,000 cases of viral meningitis each year – equivalent to 22 a day. What are the main signs and symptoms? The common signs and symptoms associated with meningitis and septicaemia can appear in any order, and some may not appear at all. In adults and children: Fever with cold hands and feet - Vomiting - Drowsy, difficult to wake - Confusion and irritability - Severe muscle pain - Pale blotchy skin, spots or a rash that does not fade under pressure - Severe headache - Stiff neck - Dislike of bright lights - Convulsions/seizures In babies and toddlers: - Fever with cold hands and feet - Refusing food or vomiting - Fretful, dislike of being handled - Drowsy, floppy, unresponsive - Rapid breathing or grunting - Pale blotchy skin, spots or a rash that does not fade under pressure - Unusual cry, moaning - Tense, bulging fontanelle - Neck stiffness - Dislike of bright lights - Convulsions/seizures What is the rash? When meningococcal bacteria multiply in the blood stream, they release toxins (poisons) that damage the blood vessels. The rash is caused by blood leaking from the damaged blood vessels into the tissues underneath the skin. The rash can start anywhere on the body. It begins as tiny red pin pricks, but may quickly develop to look like fresh bruising. The Glass Test can be used to see if the rash might be septicaemia. If you press the side of a clear drinking glass firmly onto the spots or bruises, they will not fade. A rash will not always appear with meningitis and can be one of the last symptoms to be displayed. Never wait for a rash if you suspect meningitis. Who’s at risk? Anyone can be affected by meningitis and septicaemia, but there are certain factors which may put you at greater risk. These include being a certain age – the under-fives are most at risk, particularly the under-ones; teenagers and young adults are the second most at-risk group; and those over 65 are also at increased risk. Living environment, exposure to passive smoking, mass gatherings and immune system problems are also factors. What vaccines are available? Vaccines are the only way to protect yourself against meningitis. Effective vaccines are available to prevent some types of meningitis and septicaemia, but not all. It is important to know the signs and symptoms and seek urgent medical help if you are concerned. Most vaccines are available as part of the UK routine immunisation schedule. A combined vaccine that protects against Hib, diptheria, tetanus, polio, pertussis and hepatitis B is offered to babies at 2, 3 and 4 months A Men B vaccine is offered to babies at 2, 4 and 12 months A pneumococcal conjugate vaccine (PCV) protects against 13 strains that commonly cause disease. Babies born on or after 1 January 2020 are offered the vaccine at 12 weeks and 12-13 months. A different combined vaccine (Hib and MenC) is offered at 12-13 months A Men C vaccine – combined with Hib – is offered to infants at 12-13 months The MMR vaccine protects against measles, mumps and rubella and is offered at 12-13 months and again at around 4 years The MenACWY vaccine is offered around 14 years of age. It is also offered to new university entrants up to the age of 25 years, who have not previously been vaccinated A pneumococcal polysaccharide vaccine (PPV) is offered to anyone aged 65 years and over The MenACWY vaccine is available to people travelling to areas of the world with a high incidence of Men A, C, W or Y disease such as sub-Saharan Africa or Saudi Arabia during Hajj and Umrah pilgrimages After meningitis Meningitis can strike quickly, but its impact can last a lifetime. Meningitis and septicaemia can turn your world upside down, leaving many affected with after-effects. One in ten of those who contract bacterial meningitis will die. Up to 30-50% of those who survive bacterial meningitis are left with one of more permanent problems and suffer physical, neurological and physiological after-effects. After-effects can include brain injury, deafness, learning difficulties, epilepsy, mood swings, disruptive behaviour, sight problems, headaches, tiredness, memory loss or concentration problems. The toxins that are released during septicaemia cause damage to blood vessels. This can prevent the vital flow of blood and oxygen to major organs and can result in after-effects such as skin and tissue damage, amputations or organ failure. Where to get help and find out more Michelle Bresnahan, who set up the Bristol-based charity, a Life for a Cure, following her 16-year-old son Ryan’s death from meningitis in 2010, has been campaigning tirelessly to raise awareness of the symptoms of the disease and funds for research. She works closely with national charity Meningitis Now. Meningitis Now is the founder of the meningitis movement and the only charity dedicated to fighting meningitis in the UK. With nearly 35 years’ experience it is working towards a future where no one in the UK loses their life to meningitis and everyone affected gets the support they need to rebuild their lives. Meningitis Now fights the disease on all fronts: · Providing a powerful, united voice for people fighting meningitis. · Saving lives by funding vaccine and preventative research. · Reducing the disease’s impact through awareness. · Rebuilding futures with dedicated support · Fundraising to deliver its plans. Find out more on the website Meningitis Now.org and listen to our podcast with Michelle Bresnahan, founder of Life for a Cure Call the free Nurse-led Helpline on 0808 80 10 388 Did you enjoy this article? Why not join the Two Women Chatting mailing list for regular updates. Visit our resources page which has a collection of useful links from 3rd party websites and content.

Whether it’s buying charity Christmas cards or donating the money we would have spent on cards now more than ever charities need our help. But, with most households counting the pennies right now, our help doesn’t have to just be financial - time and effort can be equally as important. With just a couple of clicks, your online Christmas shopping through Amazon Smile can ensure a portion of the purchase price is donated to the charity of your choice. Whether you want to help animals, the environment, or people in need there are some incredible apps and websites which offer both online and in-person opportunities. If your gift is time, then check out gov.uk just type in your postcode, add your interests and you’ll be matched with volunteer opportunities locally such as working at vaccination centres, event work, drivers for the elderly or become a trustee or ambassador for organisations that need specialist help from people with marketing, teaching and legal backgrounds. The possibilities are endless - and a wonderful way to make new friends in your community. If you’re happy to get a DBS check you could mentor children, teach them to read, tutor underprivileged kids or join a street crossing patrol. Maybe you’re more scientific, in which case The Zooniverse might call your name. It’s the world’s largest and most popular platform for people-powered research and enables everyone to take part in real cutting edge research in many fields across the sciences, humanities, and more. Not squeamish? Then donate blood or plasma. Register through the NHS at www.blood.co.uk. If your skills are more creative you could offer to help out with design, digital marketing and advertising for a charity that needs some assistance. You don’t even need to leave home to help the world be more accessible for blind and low-vision people through the Be My Eyes app that connects sighted volunteers and companies globally through a live video call. Or perhaps Amnesty Decoders appeals to you. It’s an innovative platform for volunteers around the world to use their computers or phones to help researchers sift through pictures, information and documents to aid in exposing human rights violations. Or take a look at Translators without Borders a global community of over 100,000 language volunteers offering language services to humanitarian and development organizations worldwide. Foodbanks are really going to need our help this year. If you’re not in the position to add a few extras to your weekly shop, perhaps you could donate your time at a local food bank to collate and hand out much needed supplies. Check out the Foodbank app or go online to volunteer via The Trussell Trust. Finally don’t forget the animals that work for us as guide dogs, rescue dogs, service horses or any kind of emergency support. The charity NFRSA looks after service dogs and horses who do not receive financial support for their ongoing care once they are retired. We’ve compiled lots of Information on charities and philanthropy, with hyperlinks to volunteer. Visit our resources page on our website www.twowomenchatting.com Did you enjoy this article? Why not join the Two Women Chatting mailing list for regular updates.

A topic that is on our minds like everyone else is the cost of living crisis so we chatted with Jasmine Birtles, broadcaster, journalist, 'money guru' and founder of popular consumer money website moneymagpie.com. We asked her to give us some creative tips so that we can all save a little and also to bring in some much needed cash. You'll be amazed how much money can be made from the comfort of your home! All the links to the websites and apps mentioned can be found on the Two Women Chatting resources page 25 ways to Save a Little (well quite a lot actually!) Take an audit of how much you spend on groceries and see if any savings can be made Search for discount coupons via moneysavingexpert.com or moneymagpie.com Sign up for the Olio app which connects neighbours with each other and with local businesses so surplus food can be shared, not thrown away. To Good to Go is an app which allows you to purchase unsold food from eateries such as Pret a Manger at the end of service, to prevent it from being thrown away. This means you get high-quality food at a great price and do some good for the planet. Use the app Gander to discover local stores that are discounting food or just ask in the store when they usually 'yellow sticker'. Take the Downshift Challenge : try a cheaper brand -if you don’t notice a difference keep with it Add pulses to bulk out meat dishes Slice a steak once it’s cooked you’d be amazed how much further it goes Organise a swap of excess harvest produce. Swap seeds and plants with friends and neighbours Check the price per kilo of loose items of fruit and vegetables by using the Omni Calculator Use washing machines in the evening when energy prices are lowest and use powder not liquid - almost all washes can be done on the 'cold' setting Consider water-saving gadgets to reduce energy and water bills such as a water meter – if you have more rooms than people it may be worth looking into Amazon Family – consolidate all your accounts Cancel automatic credit cards which are filed on your computer to stop impulse purchases in the middle of the night. Do you really need those new shoes? Do a 'subscriptions audit' - do you really need them all or could you do 'family' accounts with your adult kids. Handy for apps like Spotify, Hulu, Amazon Prime Check bank accounts for old direct debits, subscriptions, recurring payments Buy lost or stolen goods at auctions – just search police or lost luggage sites Unplug electrical items such as TV's and kettles when they are not in use Consider a NHS Prepayment subscription Buy a Railcard Hire rather than buy an outfit for a special event (great links on the resources page like Rent the Runway) Check insurance policies and renegotiate - they won’t want to lose you For large purchases consider getting a 0% purchases credit card where the 0% lasts at least 12 month and pay off monthly - more info on moneysavingexpert site. If you wear a uniform for work you can receive a tax rebate for washing/repair Freecycle/ Freegle has lots of wanted goods for free 17 ways to earn a little extra money There are plenty of ways to earn a little extra cash …. If you have attractive feet or hands you can become a hand or foot model Become a film extra for the day Complete surveys for companies online and receive free goods or cash through sites like you gov or Ipsos isay ( NB. Create a new email address for signing up to survey websites) Sign up to websites like Upwork or fiverr where you can offer your expertise to businesses on a freelance basis Sell unwanted items –mobile phones, I pads and laptops· Test products for companies - Usertesting.com are always looking for people to try out products and websites Check that promotions and ads are in stores for companies using your smart phone Offer your house for a TV or movie set Rent out a room, there are lots of people wanting a room only from Monday-Friday - there's a website just for this (see resources) Become a dog sitter Sell unwanted clothes on sites like Vinted or Depop Sign up to be a games tester Rent out spare storage space or your garage or driveway (check out JustPark or YourParkingSpace to list yours) If you take great quality photos consider selling your images to professional sites like Alamy or Shutterstock Sell odd gold earrings and unwanted jewellery and perfumes - even bits of broken jewellery will sell Repurpose jewellery and old furniture and sell online. A lick of paint or some new accessories could appeal to a buyer Become a childminder or private tutor (you will require a DBS check and register with Ofsted) Become a Property Guardian which is an arrangement by which people are granted cheap accommodation in return for living flexibly often in desirable locations Two Women Chatting key takeaways …. Do an audit of your costs and a financial health check Use your skills or spare time to generate income Sign up for apps and free money management and budgeting apps like Snoop or Emma which help you track your spending, cut your bills and control your finances. Listen to the full conversation with Jasmine Birtles here and visit our resources page which has all the links to our tips. Did you enjoy this article? Why not join the Two Women Chatting mailing list for regular updates and never miss an episode.

Teri Macgilbert, Founder of SassySober Mum summarises her sober journey I started drinking at 14. Since then, I became a regular binge drinker for 27 years. Initially it was drinking out with friends but at some point in my 20’s it became drinking at home to relax on my own. In my thirties, I drank five nights a week and every holiday. One bottle would often become two and I’d occasionally try to cut down. I knew drinking heavily wasn’t good for me and after my children came along it got harder to manage the constant hangovers. I planned my life around drinking. I obsessed about when and what I would drink and making sure I had enough wine in the house. I set dozens of rules for myself in an attempt to moderate, but it never lasted long. It consumed me emotionally. I was functioning at 50% and I hated the feeling of not knowing if next time I would go too far. At 41, after another heavy night out drinking with girlfriends, I woke up broken and full of anxiety. I decided on that day to quit. I quit by making a plan for myself which included books, podcasts, walking, distracting myself during trigger moments and free online social media groups. I have removed the desire for alcohol. I worked on breaking down my false beliefs and rebuilding my life around truth and facts. Alcohol didn’t add anything to my life, it only took. I’d never want to numb my true feelings now, even the not so nice ones. I’m so much happier and healthier now. I’m free. I now try to show others how to make changes to their relationship with alcohol through my podcast and Instagram account @sassysobermum. Listen to Teri's podcast 'Sober Stories from Everyday People' and the Two Women Chatting episode Cheers to Sobriety to hear insights and tips on alcohol free living. Visit our resources page which has a collection of useful links from 3rd party websites and content. Did you enjoy this article? Why not join the Two Women Chatting mailing list for regular updates.

We discover what it means to be sober curious and suggest some fabulous alcohol free drinks to try over the festive season. What does it mean to be ‘sober curious’? We live in a society where many social events revolve around the consumption of alcohol and it can be difficult to say ‘I’m not drinking tonight’ with friends asking ‘what’s wrong’ or ‘one won’t hurt you’ or even ‘you’re no fun without a drink’! With Christmas just around the corner, we have been re-evaluating our relationship with alcohol. And it seems we are not alone. There has been a significant shift driven partly by people worried about their drinking habits after lockdown (IWSR research group analysis shows 58% of adults worldwide are looking to moderate their drinking) and by millennials who are much more conscious about wellness to reduce or abstain from drinking alcohol. It’s worth noting that drinking alcohol has been associated with 200+ disease and injury conditions and results in about 3 million deaths per year worldwide (World Health Organisation). The sober curious movement Being ‘sober curious’ means questioning the ways in which alcohol affects you and the role it plays in your life. Why do I drink? How does it make me feel? Would I say no to social events if there was no alcohol? Do I crave a drink when out for dinner? Sober curious people don’t necessarily abstain entirely from alcohol but cut it out for a short period of time or may partake in Dry January to experience life without alcohol. They will say no when offered a drink and find other ways to enjoy themselves such as sport or seeking out a new hobby or even launching a podcast! What's stopping you becoming sober curious? A real worry for many is the social aspect and what to drink as an alternative to alcohol so that you still feel included. It can get boring really fast if fizzy drinks and water are the only alcohol-free drinks on offer There have been zero alcohol beers and lagers on the market since the 1970s. Fashionable mocktails have thankfully come a long way since the sickly sweet ‘Shirley Temple’ was created in the 1930s by a bartender in Hollywood for the child actress Shirley Temple. But it was not until 2014 that low and no-alcohol developments in the British spirits industry began to get traction when Ben Branson founded Seedlip, which is now one of the UK’s most successful non-alcoholic botanical spirits. In 2019, ex-Made in Chelsea star Spencer Matthews founded CleanCo after quitting drinking and he dispels one of the fears many sober curious have “you can still go out and be sociable, and also enjoy yourself with a clean drink that tastes just like the real stuff. You don't have to be confined to a dull soft drink. The key is getting used to being in social situations without the stimulation of alcohol and not relying on it for confidence.” Recent innovation and advancements in the NOLO drinks sector Fortunately, there have been great strides within the last few years with brands developing a range of delicious AF (alcohol-free) drinks. There are now numerous NOLO (non-alcohol and low alcohol) alternatives out there and as technology develops even non-alcoholic wines which, until recently have had a bad reputation (for good reason!) are improving. Some of the great brands we tried included, Pentire, Saicho, Cognato, Lyres, Smashed Drynks,Caleno Three Spirits, LA Brewery and Noseco. Read our blog 'Good Clean Fun' to discover our favourites! Health Benefits of being sober curious Anyone listening to our podcast will know we always seem to end up talking about disastrous diets and attempts at weight loss. From our experience, we can tell you reducing your alcohol helps! Along with a plethora of other benefits such as improved skin, mental alertness, lower blood pressure, reduced brain fog and increased energy. Final thoughts Sober curious is not for everyone and for those struggling with alcoholism is not the right step. If you think you have a problem with alcohol do consult your doctor. But if you wish to take a more mindful approach to drinking then it is well worth considering. There are now so many great-tasting alternatives with restaurants and bars increasingly offering NOLO options on their menus. In addition, groups like The Sober Club run by Janey Lee Grace, support individuals who wish to stop or reduce their drinking, advising on what other options are available and working with the hospitality industry to improve AF choices. Plus there are some helpful books including Love Your Sober Year by Kate Baily and Mandy Manners and Sober Curious by Ruby Warrington. Listen to our podcast 'Sober Curious' where we chat Janey, Kate and Mandy. Read our blog 'Good Clean Fun' to learn more about our favourite non-alcoholic drinks. Did you enjoy this article? Why not join the Two Women Chatting mailing list for regular updates. Visit our resources page which has a collection of useful links from 3rd party websites and content. Note: This post contains some affiliate links. This means that we may earn a small commission when you click on such links, at no additional cost to you. As an Amazon Affiliate, we earn from qualifying purchases. We only share links to products we would use ourselves and all opinions are our own. You can read the full disclaimer here.

When you lose a loved one there is no 'normal' way to grieve and we all experience grief in different ways. Linda Magistris CEO and Founder of The Good Grief Trust gave us some wise words when we chatted with her for our podcast 'Good Grief'.There is no timeline for grief, what you might need one day might be totally different a week or even an hour later. People need compassion, patience and understanding. The Good Grief Trust is the UK’s leading bereavement network, bringing over 900 charities and support services together under one umbrella, and offering a choice of tailored local, regional, and national support, for both the bereaved and those working with them. The charity was founded by Linda Magistris, after her partner Graham died of a rare cancer and she struggled to find the right support for her. Back in 2014 when Graham died, she realised that the health professionals lacked a central signposting resource to support their work in helping their bereaved families. Linda realised that there was a need to create an online database to bring all services together and having researched the sector she launched the charity in her voluntary role as CEO in 2016. Over the past 6 years the trust has pioneered a number of national initiatives to improve services for the bereaved and are Secretariat to the All-Party Parliamentary Group on Bereavement Support. Linda co-founded this cross-party group, with Carolyn Harris, MP in 2017, to work with Government, and influence improvements in bereavement care across the UK. The APPG is now a thriving, active group of charities, individuals affected by grief, and many MPs and Peers, working together to support those bereaved across the UK. With Linda’s background in events, and in particularly running tea rooms, Linda knew the benefits of sitting down with a cup of tea and a piece of cake, and connecting with others. She wanted to create a simple initiative that would help those grieving find a place to open up with others who understood their grief. The first Good Grief Pop Up Café launched in 2018, to bring those bereaved together in their local area, offering peer support and friendship with others who are grieving and during the Covid19 pandemic, these groups were adapted to online Virtual Cafés. These groups have now been running over two years, and regularly open twice a week, on a Wednesday and Sunday. They are a peer-to-peer session for anyone struggling to pop online via Zoom and meet others who are bereaved and understand and have become a lifeline for many needing to share their grief and to know they are not alone. Alongside the website, Linda was passionate to develop one central signposting resource which would combine both a condolence card and signposting tool. She wanted to ensure that anyone bereaved, under any circumstance was given early signposting to a choice of support services from day one. She didn’t want anyone walking out of a hospital having been bereaved, or after the police have knocked on the door with news of a sudden death, without knowing where to turn for help. The Good Grief card ensures that health professionals are fully equipped to offer a comprehensive early signposting service to their bereaved families. Linda and her team are proud that these cards are now used in every NHS Hospital Trust in England and over 3000 GP practices, as well as in schools, universities, crematoriums, HR departments and many community services. This Christmas between the 2nd to the 8th of December, the charity is spearheading National Grief Awareness Week for the 4th year, campaigning to raise awareness of the impact of grief on a national platform and ensure those needing help are aware of the breadth of support services available across the UK. This annual event aims to ensure all charities offering help to the bereaved are given a national platform to promote their services and unite with one voice to help those grieving. At 6pm on the 8th of December, the final day of the week, UK buildings and landmarks, including Blackpool Tower, will light up orange to show support for those grieving and remember those who have died. This is a wonderful sight and one we know will help those missing someone they love, at such a difficult time of the year. The Good Grief Trust’s vision is to continue to help improve access to the right help at the right time for anyone affected by bereavement. ‘Grief can be complicated, but access to support should never be’ For more information on National Grief Awareness Week and links to services, please visit The Good Grief Trust Things I wish I had known - from those who have been through it. That I wish I'd written more thoughts down so I could remember the journey I've been on and how our tragedy is leading to positive achievements. That the only recording I may have of my partner is on a voicemail, on my phone or on my answer machine which may automatically get deleted. (Please save them now if you are concerned, this can be devastating for some people). That someone had told me that I didn't have to rush the funeral and that I could have had a memorial service, several months later, instead of planning an event just after my husband died. That you don't have to listen to the uneducated. Everyone thinks they know about loss and they want to tell you. You do not have to listen, just tell them you are not ready. That I should have said yes to any practical help offered. Grief can be exhausting and I would have appreciated jobs being done around the house, that my children were looked after for a while and that paperwork was dealt with for me. That I could do what I wanted when I was ready to do it. I didn't need to explain or justify why. That you will receive many offers of help and, initially you may want to decline a lot of them - try not to. Let people help you because the sad reality is that will fall away - if you constantly say no, people will stop asking. That friends can often be the greatest source of strength and understanding - they are invaluable. That I could say ‘yes’ to any offers of help – you can always change your mind later. That it was okay to say I feel crap, when people asked how I was rather than oh you know I'm okay. When I did start telling people how I really felt, I got a lot of support, but by saying I was okay it gave them an excuse not to dig deeper so I felt swamped by my grief. That people will want to express sympathy – I had to learn to say ‘thank you’ and not waffle a load of inanities I couldn’t believe I could hear myself saying. That you will be given lots of advice from friends and family. Whatever their thoughts - go with your gut instinct. That it is ok to stop people if you don't want to hear what they're saying. That I shouldn't be afraid to ask for help - it's not a sign of weakness. That it's okay to do whatever I need or want to do!! That all the horrific emotions I was feeling were very normal and part of the grieving process. That I had known that I would go over everything that happened from diagnosis to death over and over and over in my head every time I am alone. That in those early days I wish I'd spent more time looking after me - magnesium salt baths, scented candles, reiki sessions and long walks listening to soothing music or audio books. Listen to our podcast 'Good Grief' where we chat with Linda Magistris. Did you find this article helpful? Why not join the Two Women Chatting mailing list for regular updates. Visit our resources page which has a collection of useful links from 3rd party websites and content.

Hannah & Jo of Jolly Festive are two sisters who are both completely and utterly obsessed with Christmas. Ten years apart in age and living on either side of the Atlantic, they are on a year-round treasure hunt for fabulous festive ideas to make your Christmas less stressful and more fun. We chatted with Hannah for our Jolly Festive episode about how adult kids still really want to be kids again when they come home for Christmas and she gives some tips and advice on how to enjoy those precious days when everyone is together again. Christmas with older kids and young adults With 11.5 months of the year spent navigating the adult world, you may find your returning children more eager than ever for home comforts and childhood traditions. Are you ever too old for a little stocking of treats and ‘Twas The Night Before Christmas on Christmas Eve? That being said, the days of 5am wake-ups and a day spent building toys and hunting for batteries can be happily waved goodbye! So what to do instead? We share a few ideas below. Tempting as it is to cram everything in during these precious days, don’t forget it’s the laughter and time together that’s most important. With more patience for time at the dinner table, crackers can start to come into their own. Make your own with personalised treats for each person. Or enjoy a set of activity crackers – from a shared escape room challenge to balloon modelling and quizzes, there’s something for every group. Cocktail Taskmaster! Use up the leftovers of spirit bottles rather than buying new and try your hand at creating a new signature drink. Play games! Quizzes, Taskmaster challenges, Movie Bingo and Would You Rather conundrums all work brilliantly. Get more inspiration and download free printable copies from the Jolly Festive website. Winter walks with a stop at the local pub are so much easier with an older group than young ones desperate to return to their toys. As the children get older, it becomes easier to help out in your local community at Christmas time too. Deliver meals, invite others over or simply go and support events run by local groups. Gift ideas for young adults In need of a little inspiration for what to put under the tree this year? Let’s face it -cash, gift card and subscriptions are where it’s at for most of our older kids. But these generous gifts get the least kudos under the tree. Make them more enticing by hiding them in a recycled jam jar of their favourite sweets. Or spread out a handful of smaller value gift cards or bank notes as slices in a pizza box. Anything that creates a physical present to open and raise a smile does the trick perfectly. As we all look to combat the higher energy costs this year, anything snuggly will be appreciated! Cosy slippers, chunky knits, wool socks and soft blankets are all bound to be winners. Those looking to live more sustainably will appreciate the Charity Shop Gift Card, vouchers for clothing rental services, reusable storage containers and beautiful plant holders. With borders finally reopening, clever travel products will go down well. Beautifully patterned travel towels, thoughtfully designed bags, air tags, power banks, scarves with concealed pockets, and so on. With wellbeing rightly front and centre of daily life for this newly emerging adult generation, anything that supports a little me-time is perfect. We particularly want to highlight The Positive Planner’s Positive Student Planner which has been created in conjunction with The Samaritans – a fabulous gift to encourage all university students to take a breath and re-centre. And how can we forget the tech! From the latest Meta Quest 2 VR set to portable speakers and coffee machines (with coffee pod subscriptions), there’s sure to be a gadget for everyone. A few money-saving ideas for Christmas We all know Christmas can be an expensive time. And this year more than most, many of us are watching the spend very closely. So here’s 10 ideas for managing Christmas costs without compromising the fun. Pot Luck Parties – spread the workload and the cost by asking guests to bring a contribution with them. No one likes to turn up empty-handed this way you’ll end up with a table full of signature dishes! Rent Glassware – make use of rental services for extra supplies over Christmas to minimise cost or need for single-use products. Places like Majestic offer a free glassware rental (you just pay for any breakages). Shrink The Turkey – cook a chicken on the side. Controversial we know but we hazard a guess that with all those sides and sauces, few people will be able to tell the difference! Ditch The Crackers – ask everyone to bring a silly (makeshift!) hat with a handwritten joke and a couple of charades inside instead. Meet-up Outdoors – switch restaurant meet-ups for walks in the park with flasks of hot chocolate and mulled wine. Get some fresh air and exercise whilst you catch up! Switch Cards For Digital Comms – pose a daily joke or festive riddle, do a recipe swap or simply record a short video to share online with friends and family and encourage them to reply in kind. It’s all about staying in touch after all. Give Family Gifts – rather than gifting to individuals, gift hampers for the family. Fill a crate of your choice with a mixture of homemade treats and carefully selected preloved treasures. Then top up with just a few purchases if you’d like. It’s far easier to give unpackaged items when they are part of a hamper collection. Get Creative With Wrapping – use paper shopping bags, newspapers, magazines and even old sheets as gift wrap. Use free online tutorials to learn furoshiki wrapping techniques. Dress Your Cushions For Christmas. Put old Christmas jumpers to use! With just three pins and no sewing you can dress a cushion for Christmas. Then come January, put the jumper away and there’s no Christmas cushion to store! Make Your Décor Work Harder For You – re-purpose your existing décor for Christmas rather than buying new. A string of fairy lights makes almost anything festive. And simply replacing photos in frames with offcuts of Christmas wrapping paper can be amazingly effective. Or fill bowls and vases with leftover baubles, foraged pinecones or seasonal fruits. We could go on forever! Head to Jolly Festive for our complete list of 101 ideas. And just remember – a perfect Christmas doesn’t have to be perfect! It just has to be yours. And please do help yourself to the Jolly Festive free Spotify List Christmas playlists – from carols to classical, the No.1s to Motown and much more … there’s a playlist for every occasion! Merry Christmas everyone! Did you enjoy this article? Why not join the Two Women Chatting mailing list for regular updates. Visit our resources page which has a collection of useful links from 3rd party websites and content.

Gia Mills, celebrity makeup artist and founder of the Skin in Motion the UK’s number one active and mid-life beauty brand tells us how we can improve our midlife skin. Skin in Motion the UK’s number one active and mid-life beauty brand is changing the way beauty looks and feels. Founded by celebrity makeup artist and fitness lover Gia Mills, Skin in Motion’s purpose is to empower women with the confidence-boosting beauty products that work for all life stages so they feel positive about our appearance. From long lasting sheer tinted moisturiser, panda-eye proof mascara to sweat-proof concealer, cooling hydrating mists and sweat-dissolving wipes, say hello to the vegan and cruelty-free range that you can trust and love. As our skin never stays the same, Skin In Motion’s multi-purpose solutions match the needs of different life stages such as the menopause or different environment conditions such as exercising, commuting or summer heat. Menopause-Friendly + Active-Lives-Friendly + Exercise-Friendly + Teen-Skin-Friendly. Featured in top national beauty magazines, including The Times, Elle, Red, Grazia, Glamour, Stylist and Woman’s Health. Loved by celebrity makeup-artists and beauty journalists, pro-athletes, actresses, dancers, mothers, grandmothers, Skin in Motion formulas are specifically designed for life in motion! Trialled on women of all ages during the most intense workouts, hot flushes and commuting, Skin in Motion guarantees your make-up will stay put all day long, providing you with the confidence to tackle life head-on knowing you look great! All products use non-toxic ingredients, are vegan / cruelty free and are manufactured in the UK. Midlife and menopause skin issues solves: So many of the pre and menopausal symptoms are due to the dip in oestrogen. Our levels begin to drop well before you officially hit the menopause (one year after your period stops), causing a myriad of skin imbalances. Similar to puberty in that the skin is reacting to the change in hormones and can take on many different guises and for differing periods of time and intensity. There are oestrogen receptors in every cell, e.g. those that produce collagen and elastin, cells that fight inflammation and immune function and cells that control pigmentation of the skin. Which can result in: Ability to fend off pollution, bacteria and toxins, thus skin flare ups / adult acne Reduction in collagen so skin starts to sag, is less vibrant skin, more lines and dryness as well as redness and pigmentation Sweating / hot flushes The hot flushes and the resulting over sweating are thought to be more than just falling oestrogen. It is suggested that the normal balanced level of oestrogen primes the body to react to temperature change and control ones response, thus fluctuating levels can cause the body to become sensitive to the slightest rise – hello sweating and hot flushes! The Skin In Motion solution Let me interject before I get into the solutions and say that not only are there the above physiological results of the peri/menopause, but also the psychological ones. And confidence is the stand out psychological one…feeling good about how you look is paramount to most women’s confidence and that’s one of the reasons Skin In Motion exists. Our skin is always evolving and always in motion, and I set up the brand to offer multi-purpose confidence boosting formulas match the needs of different life stages such as the menopause and teen-skin or different environment conditions such as exercising, commuting or summer heat. Skin In Motion sweat-proof solutions: Hot-flush-proof tinted moisturiser: Our hero product, Work It Tinted Moisturiser, was created to be sweat-proof, non-comedogenic and hydrating (argan oil). It is a very light formula so it doesn’t look or feel heavy on the skin, so when a hot flush arrives it will stay put, reduce redness but not clog pores (minimising any potential adult acne). Using a patented technology that mixes the formulas at a very high speed means the hydrating argan oil won’t separate and makes the formula glide on even dry skin and gives is a fresh / dewy glow. Panda-eye-proof mascara: Lift It Waterproof Mascara won’t cause under eye smudging when the body heats up. Marathon runners as last weeks London Marathon wore it and it reported back with reviews saying it stayed the course. So if good after 26.2 miles, great for excessive sweating (but don’t worry, it is super easy to remove and lash nourishing). Water-resistant coverage: Heavy foundation that masks the skin is possibly not the best solution to cover menopausal skin and will likely melt when you sweat. So a concealer that hides just the bits you need it to, is water-resistant, creamy AND nourishing (with Vitamin E) - Blend It Concealer to the rescue. Skin In Motion cooling solutions: Hot flush / night sweat cooler: As our internal thermostat goes bonkers and makes us over heat, having something you can grab to cool you down would be nice. Oh and if it can reduce redness and hydrate the menopausal skin…that would be the dream! Hello Cool It Mist, mint to cool, liquorice extract to reduce redness and lots of hydrolysed hyaluronic acid to deeply hydrate… Skin In Motion sweat-removing / adult acne solutions: The multi-purpose solution come in the guise of Clear It Wipes. Hot flushes can happen anywhere and anytime, these biodegradable wipes are designed specifically for on the go sweat removing – half % salicylic acid, pomegranate enzyme and aloe vera. Not only that, they work for adult acne, as dermatologist recommend not to use teen adult acne treatments as they are designed for oily teen skin, instead it is recommend to use a more gentle formula which has salicylic acid to dry out spots, reduce swelling and clear blocked pores, so the three key ingredients in Clear It Wipes are perfectly balanced to help here too. Use code TWC20 to receive 20% off any Skin In Motion products. Listen to our podcast where we chat with Gia Mills about Make up in Midlife. Visit our Beauty resources page which has a collection of useful links from 3rd party websites and content. Did you enjoy this article? Why not join the Two Women Chatting mailing list for regular updates. Note: This post contains some affiliate links. This means that we may earn a small commission when you click on such links, at no additional cost to you. purchases. We only share links to products we would use ourselves and all opinions are our own. You can read the full disclaimer here.